thelittlelovetoken

O level results are coming out NEXT WEEK! Oh gosh, I really got a shock of my life when I realised it's just next week. Dear me...

Since I haven't been blogging about the happenings for the past few DAYS, i shall do it now! Haha. Like Duh? Okays. Let me start with last Thursday.

Nanyang Poly Open House (25th January 06)
I shall officially announce that NYP ranks the same as Singapore and Ngee Ann poly. Well, in my list of course! :] It was okay though cos the "tour" was led by someone none other than my own sister! She was practically introducing me to everyone she knows. Hmms, so now half the school knows I'm Vivian's Sister?

Filian's 12th Birthday Party (27th January 06)
I shall start by saying my brother's birthday party was an unlucky flop. Yes, and I happen to be the one hurt huh? Nevermind, I was just trying to be a kind soul and help. Who knows I'll over-exert poor arms? And i woke up feeling all goggy and horrible! I didn't even eat breakfast or lunch.

As i was saying, over-exerting my poor arms. Yes, and it happened when i carried the more than 5 kilograms of fried bee hoon from my Grandma's place to my home. Yup, without placing it down AT ALL! So yah, imagine...

After a few minutes, I'd lost all my strength.
I'm not joking! You'll know how it really feels to lose all your strength of both your hands and arms when you attempt my "stunt".

And this really adds up to my super dull day! First, I wake up feeling nauseous. Next, I get no strength in my arms.

Yeah as usual, it's suppose to be a barbeque session. But because of the rain, we had all the food cooked and held a buffet instead. Maybe i shouldn't use 'we'. Apparently, my father, sister and I were barbequeing the satay and pork downstairs. Yup, for the whole night! And my sis and I had to hold the umbrellas while our father became the satay man. Oh my god!!

And no one offered help!!!! [this is what pissed me the most!]
And they kept coming down to ask for satay when we are the poor souls being dragged to go bbq satay! [this is what pissed me second!]

Usually, the maids were asked to do the barbequeing. But!!!!

Someone said this when the maid asked if she needed to stay to help.
" No need to help la. You can go up with us. " [the final straw]

Wow! Am I suppose to stay whole night in the rain to help you cook the food while you go upstairs and enjoy the aircon and food? Well, I didn't really cared about the food though, I still felt like vomitting. When we finally got all their demands done, I went up home and found all the maids chatting, eating and fiddling with their phones! The sight really made me BOIL BOIL BOIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can we do as hosts?
Nothing!

I shall not go on about this anymore though my arms really hurt from holding the umbrella upright when they're already out of strength. I'm so angry okay!!! I ate my dinner when they are cutting the cake. Nice move huh?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally they left and we had to hand-clean the floor. The whole house, only my sister and I. And I only got to watch the 01.30 am's MY GIRL. Slept only at 04.00.

By that time, I was feeling better because of the show! Though the episode ended sadly, Gongcan and Youlin fell in love with each other already!! And he's so so so damn sweet to her!! And so handsome too!! :D

Sunday (28th January 06)
Went to Causeway point to buy Filian's basketball shoes and my tennis racquet overgrip! Hahahahahahaha!! I'm so happie that i got it! YAY! There, we didn't find any nice clothes at John Little for daddy. So we headed down to the Specialist centre one, much much bigger though.

Hahahs! I finally got a pair of jeans of the right colour and length! Hahas. The original price was $29.00. Cheap! But after discounts, i got it for only about $17.00!! YAY, again!!

I was still feeling nauseous when we went for dinner. I looked at the food and almost puked. Though my dad succeeded in 'forcing' me to eat. Lol. I ate 2 meals that day.

Watched part of the new KOREAN show, Wedding. Quite cute la, but i don't understand why the lead actress say the guy is handsome when he's not at all. Like my whole family agrees that he's ugly? Eew.

Yups, so now you have seen what I've been doing. Nothing much but feeling Nauseous. Eeee...
Only ate a meal yesterday. I wasn't hungry at all. And my tummy was really really upset. Poor thing...

For the four days (including today) that i was/ am sick, I ate a total of 6 meals. I'm getting better though.

love, vannie. (11:30 AM)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

SICK VANNIE.

okays people, i know i haven't been updating much but i have a really good reason for it.
i feel like vomitting every second so i'd better not stay long staring at my laptop and taking the risk of having puke all over it.
yeah, so i'll be back another day to do it.
so, take cares people and bless everyone! loves!

loves loadies,
the weaky vannie. :]

love, vannie. (3:59 PM)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Reading Craze!! BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!

Currently i'm still reading this book. Cecelia Ahern's: Where Rainbows End. It's quite nice though. Reading e-mails, letters and instant messages only. It's amazing how the author can express her story in this manner. No narrator, no nothing. Only e-mails, letters and instant messages. :) But it's definitely nice!

Went to the library again. And i borrowed 2 big books. Jill Mansell's: Making Your Mind Up and also Cecelia Ahern's: If You Could See Me Now. Yes, and they look like nice books.

Well, people always say : Never judge a book by its cover. BUT! I beg to differ. I so believe that book covers are so important. If one sees a disgusting looking cover, will he ever take the book up for a browse? LOL.

I went to Causeway Point to order my bro's birthday cake. And went to Royal Sporting House to get that jersey for his birthday pressie! Mummy and i wandered around hoping to get a basketball shorts for him. In the end, we ended up looking for basketball shoes instead. LOL.

And not forgetting!!

I BOUGHT 6 MORE TENNIS BALLS!!

YAY!

Yep, and i can't express how HAPPY i am to increase my collection of tennis balls from 5 to 11!!

Actually that time have 9, but some people just hit 4 of them away till it can never be found. Humph! If not i would have 15 of them now! What a shame!

love, vannie. (12:02 PM)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Slacker.

I'm truly such a slacker today. Yep, if you guessed correctly. It's because of my fingers. They hurt so much when in contact with Soap. So yah, I'm like excused from cleanings this two or three days! Yay!

And i've finished my work stuffs. Finished the first pile, so Daddy brought back two more months on Sunday. I've finished that yesterday too!

Vannie = Efficient!

Hehs! So, i'm like lazing around reading Cecelia Ahern's Where Rainbows End. It's quite nice. Plus! I get to watch TV all day without my Mummy scolding and nagging. Cos i'm such a GOODIE GOODIE okays. I either fold the clothes or iron while watching.

I've watched quite a few Vcds:

Bruce Almighty

Memoirs of a Geisha

Rat Race

Garfield

Ice Age

That's about all. Okays!

Next, i'm going to watch:

Bewitched

Poseidon

The Pacifier

Finding Nemo!!

Monsters Inc!!

Pirates of the Carribean 1 and 2

Step up!!

and many many more!

Hah! Probably watching Princess Hours all over again! Yay!!

Okays. There's somehting for me to worry now. Nothing really bothered me but this really did! And i'm so worried about didi. Hearing all his problems and stuffs, i can't help but sympatise with him. Told him many many things.

Yup, and i think i really am a born counsellor. LOL!

OKAYS! I'm missing everyone now!!

felicia, meihwa, wanying, lex, clement..

Especially WANYING, CLEMENT AND LEX!!

God, i miss you three soooooooooo muchies okays!!

To my dearest didi:

You must understand all that i'd said to you kays. Think and try to understand. You'll get what i mean one day. Cos that's how my mummy taught me and i've learnt a lot.

You see, somethings just happen. Say for instance, your life suddenly became so so hectic. But everything happens for a reason. We just have to face them bravely. And, i always say:

Everything will be fine after some time.

Don't you think it's so true? Relax yourself from time to time. Breathe in and Breathe out. Clear everything from your mind before you go into Dreamland. Yes, and take good care of yourself.

Who's gonna take care of her if you fall sick?

Yup, don't think about so many things at a point of time. Problems! I know you'll just get all confused and frustrated. Perhaps you could try writing them down and slove them one by one. Strike them out when you're down.

And please don't say all these are GIRLIE STUFFS, cos it's not!

Everyone will have a stage where it's difficult to pull through. So it's not a girlie way to solve problems like this. Many big guys DO organise their things too! You'll be more organised with your thoughts too!

Don't gen zi ji guo bu qu kays! Be happy! Don't always think about so many things and get yourself all frustrated and miserable. Pace yourself. When others move fast, you don't necessary have to follow them. Know yourself. Go according to the pace that you're comfortable with.

Last but not the least. Both of you must give each other some space okays. Don't get over-protective or possessive. Let the other party tell stuffs naturally. Few questions now and then it's okay. Just make sure it's not too tight. I'm not telling this to you only. She has to understand too. A healthy relationship is really important okays!

But if you can't take it anymore, give each other some time to think. Worse come to worse, you may have to learn to let go. It takes time though.

Most important point of my speech is that:

You must really relax yourself and pace yourself!!! Always clear your mind of all troubles and all will be fine! Trust me, you'll be happier like that!!!

Anytime, Jiejie is here for you! Jie jie loves you and misses you muchies! Take cares!! :D

love, vannie. (4:23 PM)

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

LOL. I've just changed my Blog Address. I got bored with the previous one. I've practically used it for so so so long. So with the help of FELICIA and LEX, i got my archive code changed and corrected! Thanks so much!! Now i can get to read them. LOL!

Was reading some of the older post and i realised something: Vannie's grown up already! Hahas. Like so normal. Everyone who reads their older posts would also think like me! Hehs. I kinda REGRET what i did last time. Especially my family. Brought so much misery to my mom. Well, i've learnt from my mistakes okay. So yah, I'm a better person now! Heh! :D And i've also learned to cherish everyone important to me thus the change in the address! :]

Fear.

That was the only word that could describe how i felt right at that moment. At the point of time when the middle finger of my left hand was stuck in the lucky draw box. Stucked at the second nuckle.

It was SCARY i tell you. There was nothing my mom and i could do but to try and expand the narrow opening so i can get my poor finger out. But to no avail as the box was the kind of plastic (acrylic). Stiff plastic that could not ever be stretched. Fear engulfed me like mad!!

During that few seconds, not anyone came to my aid. Not even the man who was filling his lucky draw coupon. Finally i pulled as hard as i could and broke free from the tight grip.

Elated that i freed my hand from that stupid box, i was in for more shock. A part of my skin (and maybe flesh too) was scraped off and left dangling on my finger. A small but deep cut. The force of my pull made my hand red and burn from the excruciating pain.

Totally traumatised by the ordeal, i started laughing. Not believing that when i tried to push the lucky draw coupon into the box, i actually got my hand tightly clasped inside.

Soon after, blood appeared and tears too.

This incident actually brought me to think back to the time when i got my arm and elbow stuck in the Burger King playground i my younger days.

To be exact, i wasn't playing at the playground at that moment. I was waiting for my sister to get down so we could get going. Waiting at the short metal railing for people to sit. In a slip, i got my right arm stuck in between the glass panel and the railing. Very nice. I don't know why i always get myself stuck to something.

I cried so much that this kind lady came to help me. After many many seconds, i got myself freed again. The kind lady actually wanted to call the fire fighters. I'm not kidding about this. But of course she helped me, all by herself. And i got out with only a bruise.

Well, i guess only my sis knows this- she was the only family member who was with me. That's because my grandma always took us to Tiong Bahru Plaza and my sis and i will go there to play while my grandma went shopping. Both of us did not speak a word about it when we reached home. I was truly traumatised that time.

So, it's like history repeating itself huh?

love, vannie. (8:33 AM)

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Apparently, i'm getting all emotional over little things again. Guess it's the time of the month soon. Seems like i always get blamed for nothing when my period's coming. Can't help it though.
:] Nvm. Seems like it's always me, me, and no one else but me. Hais.

I went for the Open House for all the polys except Nanyang, my sis'. Yups. I shall rank the erm... Quality of the all the Open Houses attended (in terms of how well i know the courses and the "welcoming" of visitors :

The first place goes tooooooooo....

1. Temasek Poly!!!

[ i have a reason for saying this... they practically cheered this long long cheer to every visitor they get! i really mean EVERYONE!! make all visitors feel so important! :) ]

the fave line of the cheer which they repeated many times was:
WE LOVE VISITORS!!

god, aren't they Cute? they LOVE us okays? :D

2 or 3. Ngee Ann Poly.

[okays okays. though i don't really understand the courses, i loved the way the small little green bus operates. erm, like they go to every specific school and you can alight at the one you want to go to. and not forgettting, you can rest on the bus if you're tired! :) ]

2 or 3. Singapore Poly.

[apparently, i only enjoyed the Business school tour thingy. The rest? Okay only. But this is the only one that i know more about the courses! ]

ngee ann and singapore are on par! couldn't make up my mind. hehs :]

last but not least, actually the least la,

4. Republic Poly
[needless to say, i know nothing there. we only went in for 10 minutes. nothing, fullstop. ]

There's still Nanyang's one which will be updated at a later date. Maybe next week, after i've visited their open house.

I'm in love with TENNIS . Hahas. I don't know why. Since so long i've loved it, but now i guess the craze just got BIGGER. :P Played with my mum on Wednesday. And boy, i loved the sport so much!! Though my hands and fingers got so bloody red [as if i just murdered someone. LOL] after playing.

Not because i hurt my hand or there's blood. Just that the handle of the racquet is like peeling.

And the handle of my raquet is RED! That explains why. Heh!!

Okays. I'm going to play more and lots more of tennis!

VANNIE LOVES TENNIS!!

love, vannie. (5:46 PM)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Heh heh! Just changed to the new blogger thingy! Didn't have the time to make all those changes. So yeah!

Anyways, so many things have happened yet i have not blogged about it. What a shame ya? I don't have the time though. Let's see..

Girls' x'mas and new year outing (2nd Jan 07)
Yups! We went out together for lunch today! Ate at The Ship. It's been such a long time since i last visited that place. The food is still as nice and the place is still as dim. LOL. Ambience all right!

We had gift exchanges! I got a black pumps from Felicia, a pair of red earrings and a STRAWBERRY handphone strap from MeiHwa and a STRAWBERRY plushie from WanYing! Well, kind of coincidence ya? I really love all of them! Thanks girls! :]

walked around town, but we didn't know what to do. Actually wanted to watch movie, but the seats left were in the front row. So it was ice-cream time at Swensens! We ordered two and shared. Hahas. And talked really alot. I really missed the times we get to sit together and talk everything under the sun. Guess we just love to talk!! Heh!!

I bought a tinkerbell photoframe and two nail polishes. White and Milky Pink! LOL!! :D

Riverside's CCA Open House(6th Jan 07)
First time i ever stepped into Riverside after graduating and as an ex-riversidian! How i missed the school and everyone there!

Many many people were present, alot of ex-students. But this year's cca open house is different from past years though. The parents get to sit in an air-conditioned hall to view the performances! Humph! No fair!! Why do the benefits only appear when we leave?

Went to Causeway Point with Felicia, Wanying and Lex. And we took neoprints! For the second time, we took neoprints as Sisters' Club!! LOL! They looked really nice huh! And the joke of the day: Pretty!

New Year Countdown (31st Dec 06 to 1st Jan 07)
My family, except my sister, went to the open grass area at Marina Square to wait for the fireworks. The timings were at 10.30 pm, 11 pm, 11.30 pm and at 12 am. Those before 12am ones were really short and a let down! At least the last one was awesome! HEH!!

Luckily we had the patience to wait from 8pm...

Cutty Cut Hair Day (5th Jan 07)

Lol! I finally went for a haircut! I look different. Alot of layers though and i changed the side of my fringe! Haha. At the front, my fringe is slant and my hair look short. At the back, it's long, cos i kept the length!!

Okays, i guess that's about all. I'll be back for more of my Bangkok trip and pics and not forgetting, UPDATES!! :]

Tata! :D

love, vannie. (10:53 AM)

Friday, January 12, 2007

Thursday [14th Dec 2006]

Forth day at Bangkok. Lol. People must be thinking why i'm still talking abt my trip. No choice. I must finish everything!! Lol.

Okays. We went to Siam Paragon. The new new shopping centre. Actually wanted to go see the underwater world, but too ex-.

Heh. We spet most of the time walking in the supermarket instead. There is a reason why we chose to shop in the supermart. That's because... the supermart is so so so soooooooooooo..... NICE!! And i have to swear it's really huge! So classy too!!

There are super lots of food sampling there too! Lol. So we didn't have to fix our lunch. It was already fixed! Haha. So nice nice nice place! And the doggie clothes they sell there is so different from what we see in the departmental stores in Singapore. Ranging from jeans and spagetti straps to wedding dresses to festive costumes! No one have to worry abt what to dress their babies in! Lol.

Then we moved on to the place which looked like Singapore's Bugis Street. Shopped There for a lonh long time while waiting for filian and daddy as they went for a hair cut. Bought my winnie the pooh tote bag and my new year blouses! Hahas.

Met up with filian and daddy at MBK and had dinner at the Japanese restaurant there. The food was so nice!! And really cheap. Hahas. And this is my creation!!

Was so tired we went back to the hotel after dinner. Lol. Then it was bathing and watching tv time, and sleep. :]

love, vannie. (8:04 AM)

Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm helpless. I can't do anything now.

love, vannie. (5:03 PM)

Did i tread the wrong path in the past? Was it doomed to end like this all from the beginning? Why? No one can give me a specific and rightful explanation. I'm hurt really terribly.

'Be Strong Vannie', I keep telling myself. But somehow, my tears never fail to betray me and find its way out of my eyes. Every single moment, i try to keep my tears back. I actually feel a sense of achievement that i could smile and laugh in front of everyone today. But this feeling didn't last long. When i am alone, i betrayed myself once again.

No point listening to any words of consolation or anything now. Cos nothing gets in. I can only reply : i know. Though deep in my heart, i don't. Not at all.

I've just lost someone so dear to me. And i'm still affected by the trauma. I feel like the person had passed away. Or rather gone to a far away place, and never to be my god brother again. "Kor", how i long to call you that again. I know i'll never have the chance to again.

I really missed the late night conversations we had. How we bitched about other people. How we crapped about nothing. How i told you about him. How you called me 'ah bee' in front of everyone in school. How you consoled me when i was down. How you lent me a listening ear when i needed one.

Those are just past memories.

Remember you told me you wanted to teach and bring me ice- skating? I guess this dream of mine will not be fufilled then. Then again, you told me, you can teach me. But not as a kor. Some may ask, why not? But i tell you it's different. Does anyone still think i dare talk and ask things as much as i want?

Why me? Why is all the unhappiness always befalling me? Guess i did something wrong. If i could do something to turn back the clock, i will. But now he doesn't want me as a mei anymore. I know that all. I'm always so unimportant to everyone. Not like i will believe anyone anymore if they tell me they do. I never want to believe again.

Why is happiness always shortlived? I kept asking myself this particular question. And my answer still lies with fate. Fate. I just believe in fate. It's all fate that he made this decision. It's fate that i was the unlucky one. It's fate that i became his mei. It all comes down to fate.

My heart still hurts. How deeply, I do not know. Guess it's like a bottomless pit. I fell once again. And i don't have the strength to pull myself up now. I feel like i'm choking. This holiday was meant to be the best in my lifetime. But until yesterday. The decision struck all of a sudden. Not my decision. His.

I don't need anyone's sympathy now. Cos i'm down, But definitely not out. I'll pull myself up one day. But not sure when. I'll leave everything to fate.

Pathetic. That's how i feel now. I feel so pathetic, but i want no one's sympathy. I'll wipe my tears off and live. I have so much more to say, but i don't know how to start. Keep them in my heart and cry them out. That's the only way...

Thank you felicia for being there for me when i was so down. Thank you meihwa for concerning.

In any case that you read this kor, I just wanna thank you for all you have done for me. I really appreciated.

love, vannie. (4:57 PM)

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